Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Locks of Coal: A Sub-Standard Treatise on Hair Rebonding


I am a hair-frizz veteran. Long have I fought this war against my recalcitrant tresses. This has involved frustrated lock-chopping, ample shampoo shopping, right down to sneaky gel topping and frequent diet hopping. In this process, I have suffered the inventions of almost every misleadingly miracle-touting hair care brand. I have learnt that oftentimes, a difference in hair quality is attributable to the effect of changing to a new product rather than the effect of the new product itself. I have discovered that hair is often vicious in nature, and simply cannot be reasoned with or relied upon for consistency. A product that works wonders for days will mysteriously fail on the day you're counting upon it the MOST to work. I have started thinking of daily flat-ironing as being akin to shallow frying bit by bit for days till you simply have to stop on the penalty of irreversible destruction of the charred remains. Eggs have been cracked on my skull, and yogurt has been fed to the head. I have journeyed far and wide on the slippery world of hair oils. I have acquired a superhuman product resistance by jumping from bandwagon to bandwagon at breakneck speeds.

I have since progressed from bandwagons to self-piloted units, whereupon I sometimes deign to take true believers on guided tours to what I consider to be the most optimal route to the state of  well-behaved-hair-ness. My answer is hardly original, but some of the lessons learnt and wisdom gained deserve to be put out there. It's the simplest, most obvious answer. Japanese re-bonding aka Thermal Reconditioning.

Fears: 
Japanese Rebonding often gets a bad rap due to the purported hair loss, damage and dryness associated with it. I believe that a well-done procedure carried out by an experienced stylist with trusted products will do far less damage than daily flat ironing. And let's face it, us frizz-haters are irresistibly drawn to flat irons. (Yes, like magnets to regular iron.) Moreover, I have realized that the effort I put into taking care of my hair after rebonding puts my regular hair care regime to shame - in terms of choice of products, minimizing rough handling, increased deep conditioning, zero blow drying and maintenance including regular trims, keratin treatments and hydrating masques. While I understand that this might sound like the irrational babbling of an obsessed female mind, I believe this works for me.

Pros:
No more ironing, no frizz, no kinks, no fuss, no muss. Need I say more?

The Process: 
1) Hair is washed with a clarifying shampoo to remove any product build-up
2) Application of the relaxer breaks disulfide bonds between certain animo acids
3) Relaxer is washed out, and hair is painstakingly flat ironed
4) A neutralizer is applied to re-form the disulfide bonds in the new, "straight" state
5) The neutralizer is washed out and usually, a conditioner is applied

Magic Straight, Liscio or Yuko?
I have only had a Magic Straight treatment, so though I hate to say it, I really don't know. From what I've read, the Liscio treatment provides additional heat protection and conditioning compared to the other two. All three have a pretty good reputation, so the focus should be on hunting for the right hair stylist rather than tormenting yourself over the brand.

Tips: 
I believe that the skill and experience level of your stylist matters a lot more than the product used. One formula does not fit all. Adjustments have to be made on the fly depending on how the client's hair responds to the treatment. For example, the stylist should check in often to test strand tension. As the product works, strands expand in length. So less tension means the product has pretty much finished doing its job. If left on for too long after this threshold has been crossed, the over-exposure may weaken or damage hair. The stylist should ensure that pre-treated hair is not re-treated. Pre-s and re-s with the same relaxer are bad enough, but mixing different types of relaxers (sodium hydroxide treatment followed by ammonium thioglycolate for instance) could lead to disaster. So make sure you go to a salon reputed for its Hair Rebonding services.

Post-treatment Care: 
Now that the beast is tamed, unleash it. Leaving your hair unbound will put less physical stress on it. Use sulfate-free shampoos and hydrating conditioners. Try not to wash your hair with hot water. Install a shower filter for additional protection. Drink a ton of water, and eat healthy.

I personally back the following products:

Regular Shampoo:
Chi Intense Nourish Hydrating Silk Bath (By far the best shampoo I have ever used. I could swear that it's made out of nano-particles that are taught to hug and pamper human hair. )

Sulfate Free Clarifying Shampoo: 
Giovanni Tea Tree Triple Treat Shampoo

Conditioners:
Chi Nourish Intense Silk Hair Masque
JKS Smoothing Conditioner with Keratin
Cadiveu Brasil Cacau Anti Frizz Conditioner (This transforms my hair into the airbrushed perfection and glory of commercials. Worth every one of the 3500 pennies you'd have to spend on it.)

DIY Keratin Treatments:
Organix Ever Straight Brazilian Keratin Therapy 30 Day Smoothing Treatment

Unrealistic Expectations: 
Do not expect to walk out with a bouncy, luscious, voluminous mane. I usually come out looking like my head has swollen up to twice its size, with a black silk cloth (my hair obviously, flattened to perfection) taped onto it. This subtle torture lasts for 48 hours, until the hallowed first wash.

Conclusion:
Available data and experience biases my opinion in favor of Japanese Rebonding with absolutely no statistical significance or support. This is a purely subjective and qualitative assessment :)










Monday, October 1, 2012

Scourge of the Earth

Pay heed. These words come from the long-suffering host to multiple generations of bed bugs and are shaped by unequal parts of gut-wrenching hatred and caution. I have been so afflicted and tortured, that if provided the right means, I would happily gather them all and then:

1) Go on a quest to find Mjolnir*. Then spread them out and flatten with constant pounding.
2) String them up on bare electric lines while water-boarding them
3) Boil them for a couple of thousand years
4) Toss them into bubbling acid baths
5) Follow up with the Cruciatus curse
6) Bury them in the cores of the hottest stars
7) Still not be satisfied

I am terrified of these little fiends. Mainly because once they sink their hooks into you, there's no getting rid of them unless you burn all your possessions, and zip away at the speed of light. They linger and multiply.  They're sneaky. You will never catch one mid-bite. They hide in the crack-iest of cracks. You might kill twenty today, or even a hundred, but there are always more. If you somehow manage to sniff each one out for massacre, rest assured that they've left a million eggs as pre-emptive revenge. The only solution is to pare the problem down to a state that very-closely-but-not-quite resembles complete extermination.

The day the little red bites begin to blossom, accept that you have bed bugs and go to war. Pull up your socks, then remove them and toss them in boiling water. Remember, denial equals a warm hug and an invitation to feast and breed. Harboring bed bugs does not necessarily mean that you're unhygienic or dirty (though that could be it) - these buggers hitchhike on shoelaces for crying out loud.

Throw out any pieces of furniture you've been meaning to get rid of anyway. If your mattress cost you $1000+, you can probably afford an exterminator. Call one.

If you find you cannot afford one, fear not. First off, if the mattress shows signs of extreme infestation, toss it. You're better off sleeping on a $30 air bed for a while. Vacuum the infested rooms - every nook and cranny. Twice. Steam clean every possible surface and corner. Buy food grade (and this is important, at least until the day that all forms of lung disease and cancer evolve into super-powers) diatomaceous earth and dust it into cracks and corners. On the bed (underneath the mattress of course). And every other spot that seems safe to dust. Get a can of bed bug spray from a hardware store and go nuts.

For those of you lucky enough to have avoided tangoing with these miserable wretches, buy a zippered, bed-bug protecting cover for your mattress immediately. It's one of the best investments you can make for your home. I cannot stress this enough. And for all you victims out there, this isn't a even a choice. In fact, I don't understand why there are no public health policies which force vendors to sell mattresses with bug protection. I guarantee a lifetime of votes to whoever promises to initiate this war.

(*Mjolnir is Thor's hammer. If you have had an infestation of these unholy creatures, you will agree that nothing less can possibly suffice.)












Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Confession

My blog URL is a snatched entity.
I lifted it straight off one of my orkut testimonials. Conceited concerned party has graciously overlooked the offense. Not that concerned party could do anything about it if concerned party so desired. Hmpf.
But since I occasionally brag about giving credit where credit is due, this had to be done.
Either way, part of it was my own creation. Concerned party just tacked on 2 words.
So there.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

May this be the one

This has got to stop. My senseless cyclical creation and deletion of blogs. About once every 10 months I get a rush of blog-blood to the finger-tips imploring me to - well, blog.

What follows:

Step 1: Mad mental dash to get a grip on the evasive allegoric butterfly that is my blog URL
Step 2: Triumphantly type in the output of my cerebral calisthenics
Step 3: No match is found
Step 4: Short lived outrage at Google for trashing my inactive blog
Step 5: Grudging acceptance of the reasonable-ness of Google's act
Step 6: Mental note to demote Google from god status, reason be damned
Step 7: Wait a minute. Feel electric tendrils of hope in brain
Step 8: Realization dawns. That was the URL I had deleted in my fit of rage at it's immaturity. Sheepish self has a Google God again.
Step 9: Repeat Steps 1 and 2
Step 10: Undergo new fit of rage after reading stinky blog
Step 11: Hunt for option to delete blog. Google-god's existence in jeopardy as irritation with the UI's unfriendliness grows
Step 12: Faith is restored as option is found
Step 13: Going going gone
Step 14: Agonizing process of naming new blog and URL
Step 15: Witness miraculous re-incarnation of my blog